Spring Will Come

We had our first snow in the Denver area. I love snow, but I love summer's heat even more. So, when the crisp golden leaves fly through the sky, get crunched under the soles of 'flats' and 'cowboy boots' and then get covered by loads of white playful flakes, and after some cocoa and some thoughts of the holidays, I begin to think of the green rebirth of spring as I remember the sun kisses of those days that I like the very best.

This spring will be exciting. Ryan and I have discussed no longer having a long distance dating relationship and simply having a dating relationship. I am in a position that I would be the one moving. It is exciting and daunting both, as I have begun to more throughly think through the process of transition from the Denver area to the San Francisco area. As I mentally sort through the anticipated changes, I have reminded myself of these things:
"Stop freaking out."
"Ok, freak out, but only for a limited time."
"You can freak out for X minutes."
"This is good and quite frankly, thrilling."
"Oh, hush, you have no idea what tomorrow holds."
"Are you still trusting your maker? Think about that one."
"Remember to live well now."
"Pour steel in your spine."

I remind myself of things... and I try to allow others to remind me. I also make to-do lists. Ha. In fact, I have already determined that if this was going to occur, I want some delicious snacks for the car trip. I considered saving the packaged oatmeal cookie from Jimmy John's-- that would be perfect road trip food. I didn't, I ate it. As far as other to-do lists, they are long and mostly boring in comparison to the oatmeal cookie ephiphany mostly having to do with employment and living arrangements and wrapping up grad school and thinking about people from this part of the marbleized planet that I will miss consistent encounters with. It's ok, the hard work will get done, the heart preperation will be, the pussy willows and tulips will stand to be counted and the geese will be flying in the opposite direction then they are now. First, we shall see what tomorrow holds.

Sermon to sickness.

As part of my Masters of Divinity degree, San Francisco Theological Seminary requires that I spend one year in an internship. I chose to spread mine out Part time over the next two years however to meet the same requirements, but get a better feel of the liturgical year, and the congregation I would be serving. I began this internship in Mid September at St John's Presbyterian Church in San Francisco. It has been only a short time, but it is already proving to be a great experience.

My first sermon was last Sunday October 23rd, and I had a little bit of trouble in the process. My church uses the Lectionary (a 3 year structure of biblical texts chosen for each week (typically one OT passage, one Psalm, one gospel, and one epistle, and two alternative texts.), and Last Sunday was from Year a Week 25 (proper time). Unfortunately when I started working on this sermon the two weeks prior to my Sunday to preach, I had chosen the OT text from Deuteronomy telling the story of the death of Moses, and a couple days later chose the Epistle text to go with it from I Thessalonians, only to realize the following Wednesday evening I had misread the epistle text and was using the passage for week 24. I was very frustrated, and felt defeated as I started over on a new sermon outline that needed to be turned into my site supervisor the next morning with the correct text.

I finished the outline later on Thursday, and submitted it to My supervisor in a fairly rough form. I really wasn't pleased with it at all, and was talking about things I didn't have a lot of confidence talking about. I had to turn in a manuscript of the sermon on Monday, but wasn't happy with what i was working with, so I stepped away form the sermon for a couple days.Through all of this, several phone conversations with Jas kept me going through my frustration and self pity.

Finally on Sunday, the day before my manuscript was due, I went to the ordination ceremony of one of the staff members here. I don't recall exactly what the sermon was about (which Im disappointed in because it was really good!), because I was distracted during and after because something the pastor said triggered something in me telling me to do my sermon on a topic I struggled with in my undergrad-- Altruism. I went back to my apartment after the reception and got to work spilling my stream of thought onto the page and by Monday morning was most of the way through my sermon. I did not finish it as expect on Monday, but did first thing Tuesday morning. I went from asermon I was not comfortable with to one that I had a connection to, and was very confident in. unfortunately, the original manuscript was close to a half hour long, and the congregation I am serving if used to 12-13 minute sermons so I needed to reduce it.

My part time internship has on several occasions spilled over into full time hours, this last week was not an exception. I spent about 20 total hours on my sermon at the beginning of the week, as well as about another 5 hours of meetings with other pastors in San Francisco and my supervisor and finishing the bulletin for my Sunday. This was followed by a busy later part of the week including the sermon reductions (my final product was still pretty long, about 22 minutes which I squeezed into 16 by talking fast [need to work on that part]), two wedding rehearsals, Saturday morning working the churches food pantry followed immediately by the elder deacon retreat, followed by two weddings, and then I finally got to go home after about a 14 hour day. During this time span on Saturday the little bit of congestion I had for the previous two weeks decided to turn into a full blown cold.

On Sunday I was happy to just get through my sermon. Monday morning, I was even worse, and my supervisor told me not to come in the rest of the week, so I went home and curled up in bed. At some point my door bell rang but I wasn't able to get to it before the person had left. Come to find out the next day I should have looked to the right at the chair I have outside because Jasmine had sent me a get well package of flowers and a teddy bear. Later that evening, a knock on my door, again I couldn't get there soon enough, but there was a package left on my door mat with "reasons I love you" stones inside as well as two whiskey snifters and some teraforma whiskey stones and a note congratulating me on my first sermon from "me." Gee, who could that be? Needless to say, these two things were wonderful and made a horrible day of feeling awful into a great day. I am starting to feel better bit by bit, missed my meeting this afternoon with a couple for premarital counseling (not MY meeting, but one I was going to shadow), and was told to not come to the wedding rehearsal tomorrow or wedding on Saturday.

I can't express how nice it is to have someone who will stand by my side when I am struggling with a sermon, or when I am sick, even when she is 1000 miles away. Im a pretty lucky guy.

Summer Love

This past summer, Ryan and I took several days to go camping down at the Great Sand Dunes National Park in Colorado.

I think we would both agree that the trip was packed with adventure, unexpected turns, lessons that could cycle back again, and more getting to know each other time. Even thinking about it now; it was an exhausting trip.

In bulleted form, here is a tiny bit of insight:

- Purchased jerky and began our travels
- Picked up two stranded older ladies and drove them to their home
- Received tickets to a nearby town's demolition derby as a token of their gratitude

The trip should have taken approximately 4 hours; we were still driving after the sun had been down for at least an hour.

- Pitched the tent to starlight
- Consumed astronaut-approved-hot-tang and oatmeal to start the day
- Climbed the dunes and almost blew
off the edge
- Feasted upon sand-covered oranges at the top of the sand pile
-Threw our orange peels into the magnificent gusts

      
Attended the derby
- Stalked by the formerly-stranded ladies
- Received turkey legs from the ladies
- Felt ill
- Invited to their home, we went...
- Talked about... their children, employment, life...
- Invited to spend the night, declined offer...
- Pending offer still stands to visit and attend the Gator Farm with their accompaniment
- Craved sleep; returned to the tent

We were thankful for the opportunities that would not have occurred if we had not met those kind individuals. Our ears were still ringing from the derby, our bodies we tired from the hot and dusty climb. It was good rest. This was quite a camping adventure.

Twenty Minutes Away

We were twenty minutes away when I visited the SF Bay Area for a conference in March 2011. We were also down around the Wharf at the same time. However, we didn't meet. Instead, we met two months later.

We emailed and chatted online for a week and a half. I had taken time of from work weeks prior but had yet to purchase plane tickets anywhere. After, slight hesitation we decided to see each other. I flew out for a less than 24 hour trip.  I believe I told only two individuals.

I had a layover in AZ. Tears welled as I realized that the door across the terminal, the door that led to my connecting flight, just shut as I ran up to it. (I had never missed a flight in all of my traveling before this point.)  I was upset. The attendant said it was too late. I missed the plane. I told ryan. He responded, something close to "It's ok. I will still be here when you get here. Remember, you love airports, have fun. Go people watching and get a hot drink." There were no guilt trips, but there was a message of confidence that spoke loudly to me. He knew snippets of me already. That was rad.

Ryan greeted me with wildflowers and a hug.
I was in SF overnight.
We both were wrapping up graduate school semester finals and were exhausted.
Ryan's planned trip to the museum turned into a solid nap.
Ryan's planned date night at the Fog City Dinner turned into a picnic in the hotel.  We still wore our fancy date attire.


The next day, Ryan took me to Stinson Beach, and yes, they're was a nap on the beach.
We had twist cones and decided it was fun and comfortable. Maybe we could talk on the phone now.

I feel asleep on the way to the airport. Which wasn't a surprise at this point!  ...I liked him.  I felt safe next to him...

--Ryan's funny insert. I had already left for the airport when Jasmine found out she was not going to be able to catch her connecting flight. when I received the message from her I pulled over to the side of the road to reassure her. I let her know that I was staring at San Quentin, and later she revealed that she wanted to see this overlook of the beautiful San Quentin. It was here that I had to inform her that I should have added the entire name when I told her that, as it was not some scenic overlook, I was on the shoulder of the road next to San Quentin State Prison.