TOGETHER

Ryan came to visit me in the Denver area after his intense officer training session in Rhode Island. He flew back to San Francisco, then to Denver-- many air miles, and a spackling of in-flight movies.

It was such a marvelous 6 days together. We both had been counting down the weeks, and days, and hours for quite some time and at last... we were able to hug each other tenderly and tight at baggage claim 8.  The following days lingered and mostly speed by, sometimes matching up to appropriate slow-motion moments but rarely.

We packed in a lot in those days, including 8 inches of fresh fallen snow in one night!! (Bliss.)

Ryan had his new fancy officer dress uniforms which he proudly showed off. ...it is amazing to see his heart for the people who are serving in the military. His care for them has allowed my heart to be open to God softening my own perspective and heart-frame into something that reflects care as well towards individuals in this subculture.

Additionally, I am moving into another space so Ryan helped to transfer my furniture into a U-hual pickup and off to the storage unit. I was reminded that this man is so strong! I was and am thankful for his practical willingness with such an unexciting task.

The time together was wonderful, and normal, and good. As I write now, tiny tears well up. I don't think Ryan, nor I, anticipated this part of the relationship. Long distance relationships are rough. First, they are a blast and exciting jaunted weekend excursions, and then it seems intense heart ache and discontented longings. It has been a thrilling relationship, and surely not boring-- even in the couch-moving minutes... Even so, I long to be content again. So, with distance that separates now, and anticipated distance that may separate us in the futures- I long to be content and I will choose to be content despite feelings, and emotions. So, whether it is face-to-face, or screen-to-screen this dude I'm dating has proven to be pretty rad, and quite wonderful and I hope he sticks around for a bit.

Nearly there

The end is in sight. I am currently on my last liberty at Navy Officer Development School.

Week three was good, I was not able to complete the entire PRT because of a medical CHIT is received due to my hip flexor and shin splints,  so I only did the push ups and curl ups with no run… I did improve both of those though. The RLP (Room, Locker, Person) inspection went really well, I only had three deductions, (you are allowed 9 to pass) and my inspector was a former enlisted marine who is now an LT in the Navy. I still don’t know what he looked like because I was locked on during the inspection, and only took a quick glimpse at his rank insignia so I never focused on his face. Last weekend consisted of off base liberty in our dress blues, but we couldn’t leave the island so I just rode around with Ens Syster and LTJG Halwany. We had a few drinks at the liberty center/bowling alley, and the weekend went by pretty quick. The course work was important but dull during week three, but I managed to stay awake through it all.

Week four was composed of DOLC (pronounced Doal-see) or Division Officer Leadership Course. These classes were a little more interactive than the previous three weeks, so it made it easier to stay awake, but was still a struggle with our lack of sleep. The week actually went by pretty quick, we had access to our phones after hours, and I was able to regularly text and occasionally call Jas.  My new phone was a God send and made communication so much easier.

This weekend we had 100 mile leave and could go out in our civis, many of my classmates went to Boston. I had planned on going to Boston, but the timing just didn’t work out, so I stuck around Newport, and had lobster for the first time (I still like crab more) and a few drinks downtown with a few of the guys. It was a good and relaxing time. I have had plenty of time to crack open my Bible, and that has made things much less stressful lately too. Unfortunately I just received an email from my seminary saying that they accidentally gave me tuition loans last semester when I was on my internship, so they will be taking $3400 out of my loans for this semester which means I will not have enough money to get through the year and will probably have to take out an additional bank loan.

Next week consists of a lot of interactive training and days that end early. We will do the wet trainer called the USS Buttercup, which is a damage control simulator where we will be in a mocked up section of a ship and we will have to seal leaks and such, firefighting training, another pool exercise where the entire class jumps off the platform wearing dark goggles, and has to make sure everyone is accounted for and climb into a boat in the middle of the pool, a chance to get our 2^nd class swim qualification for a few of us, graduation practice, graduation reception, and graduation itself. Then I get to hop on a plane in Providence, fly to DC, then on to San Francisco where I will head to the USO, take a nap for a couple of hours, hop on another plane, and wrap my arms around Jas in Denver.

I’m going to miss my classmates from Class 12020 Charlie company, but I am also very excited to finish up my training here, see my mom at the reception and graduation, graduate, and feel the woman I love in my arms. It is a fine Navy day.

-ENS SCHLIMGEN

(Ryan)

ODS Thanksgiving Weekend.

Well, I am nearly mid way through ODS at Officer Training Command Newport on the lovely Naval Station Newport in Newport, RI. (The picture is not mine, nor is it my class, or our Class Chief Petty Officer)

The first week was pretty rough with a lot of PT, blood drawings, classes, administrative days, power point lessons, and a lack of sleep. We typically rise around 0400 (although we aren't supposed to until 0430) and are on the line ready for PT at 0450. The days did not end until around 2100, and we were not allowed to go to bed until taps (2200) so on average, the maximum amount of sleep we were receiving was about 6 hours per night (noone was actually getting this though between studying, shinning, showering, shaving, etc... were were typically up past midnight, and back up around 0400).

Our first weekend consisted of sight seeing liberty, meaning we could check out the sights visible from our room's windows. No phone privilege, so I had to sneak a text to my family and Jas letting them know it would be a little longer before we could speak again. Additionally, we were officially allowed to wear our Service uniforms (Khakis) starting on Saturday of the first weekend after wearing PT sweats all week. In order to get this privilege, we took a tour of the OTCN facilities running between buildings and floors and hallways immediately getting on our faces and doing push ups, squat thrusts, etc... at every stop as the Chief Petty Officers told us about what each area was, and who's offices were there. We also got to take some nice trips through sand pits where we did PT and rolled around getting sand everywhere... EVERYWHERE!

Last week was a little more laid back, we were able to wake ourselves up and get on the line instead of having our class Chief pounding on our doors and yelling at us at 0430 every morning. We only wear PT gear in the morning and are back in our khakis the rest of the day. there are a lot of classes to sit through, and many of us end up standing in the back of the rooms in order to stay awake through the dull but informative lessons on little sleep. We were done between 1800 and 2000 each day, and had a little bit of free time to work on our NKO (Navy Knowledge Online) lessons, shine our shoes, shower, shave, etc... and were able to get a little (note LITTLE) more sleep each night. We had our first Room inspection on Wednesday afternoon, and returned to our hall with mattresses in the hallway, in other peoples rooms, stacked on top of each other, shoes scattered around the hall, chairs tipped over, and anything that was out of place during the inspection in general was strewn about. My room was nearly untouched as I got a 4.0 on the inspection (no deductions), but my shoes were still off my locker and thrown on my desk, and I discovered later that night when I went to take a shower that my door had been locked, and I had to have someone go to the quarterdeck to get someone to unlock it for me... Our Chiefs have a sense of humor.

Thanksgiving began a 96 hour liberty for us where we are allowed to travel around base to the various locations such as the NEX (Navy Exchange), Internet Cafe, track, gym, pool, etc... We would march to breakfast as a company, but the rest of our meals we handled on our own. we are allowed to use our phones this weekend which has been wonderful as I was able to talk to my mom on Thanksgiving and pass on my love to my family as they are all gathered at my Aunt and Uncle's in San Jose; and speak to the love of my life multiple times and just listen to her voice, and hear about her weeks. I was hoping to skype with Jas today, but a meeting with the Command Senior Watch Officer (I am the company Senior Watch Officer for my class) at 1400 is smack dab in the middle of the period of time I had hoped to skype so I will have to go another week before seeing Jas' lovely face. It is difficult not being able to see or speak to her for these short periods of time, but it is good preparation for the future when we may not be able to speak for weeks at a time again in possible deployment situations.

This coming week will include many more classes, vaccinations, another PRT (Physical Readiness Test), a graduation required exam and a room/dress blues inspection (which will determine whether or not we have off base liberty over the weekend), as well as the possibility of phone usage during our off hours (around 1800-2200). Things are starting to move along nicely, and things really are going well, soon enough I will be graduating from ODS, and off to Denver for a week to embrace the object of my heart, mind, and soul's desire.

-ENS Schlimgen

(Ryan)

Spring Will Come

We had our first snow in the Denver area. I love snow, but I love summer's heat even more. So, when the crisp golden leaves fly through the sky, get crunched under the soles of 'flats' and 'cowboy boots' and then get covered by loads of white playful flakes, and after some cocoa and some thoughts of the holidays, I begin to think of the green rebirth of spring as I remember the sun kisses of those days that I like the very best.

This spring will be exciting. Ryan and I have discussed no longer having a long distance dating relationship and simply having a dating relationship. I am in a position that I would be the one moving. It is exciting and daunting both, as I have begun to more throughly think through the process of transition from the Denver area to the San Francisco area. As I mentally sort through the anticipated changes, I have reminded myself of these things:
"Stop freaking out."
"Ok, freak out, but only for a limited time."
"You can freak out for X minutes."
"This is good and quite frankly, thrilling."
"Oh, hush, you have no idea what tomorrow holds."
"Are you still trusting your maker? Think about that one."
"Remember to live well now."
"Pour steel in your spine."

I remind myself of things... and I try to allow others to remind me. I also make to-do lists. Ha. In fact, I have already determined that if this was going to occur, I want some delicious snacks for the car trip. I considered saving the packaged oatmeal cookie from Jimmy John's-- that would be perfect road trip food. I didn't, I ate it. As far as other to-do lists, they are long and mostly boring in comparison to the oatmeal cookie ephiphany mostly having to do with employment and living arrangements and wrapping up grad school and thinking about people from this part of the marbleized planet that I will miss consistent encounters with. It's ok, the hard work will get done, the heart preperation will be, the pussy willows and tulips will stand to be counted and the geese will be flying in the opposite direction then they are now. First, we shall see what tomorrow holds.

Sermon to sickness.

As part of my Masters of Divinity degree, San Francisco Theological Seminary requires that I spend one year in an internship. I chose to spread mine out Part time over the next two years however to meet the same requirements, but get a better feel of the liturgical year, and the congregation I would be serving. I began this internship in Mid September at St John's Presbyterian Church in San Francisco. It has been only a short time, but it is already proving to be a great experience.

My first sermon was last Sunday October 23rd, and I had a little bit of trouble in the process. My church uses the Lectionary (a 3 year structure of biblical texts chosen for each week (typically one OT passage, one Psalm, one gospel, and one epistle, and two alternative texts.), and Last Sunday was from Year a Week 25 (proper time). Unfortunately when I started working on this sermon the two weeks prior to my Sunday to preach, I had chosen the OT text from Deuteronomy telling the story of the death of Moses, and a couple days later chose the Epistle text to go with it from I Thessalonians, only to realize the following Wednesday evening I had misread the epistle text and was using the passage for week 24. I was very frustrated, and felt defeated as I started over on a new sermon outline that needed to be turned into my site supervisor the next morning with the correct text.

I finished the outline later on Thursday, and submitted it to My supervisor in a fairly rough form. I really wasn't pleased with it at all, and was talking about things I didn't have a lot of confidence talking about. I had to turn in a manuscript of the sermon on Monday, but wasn't happy with what i was working with, so I stepped away form the sermon for a couple days.Through all of this, several phone conversations with Jas kept me going through my frustration and self pity.

Finally on Sunday, the day before my manuscript was due, I went to the ordination ceremony of one of the staff members here. I don't recall exactly what the sermon was about (which Im disappointed in because it was really good!), because I was distracted during and after because something the pastor said triggered something in me telling me to do my sermon on a topic I struggled with in my undergrad-- Altruism. I went back to my apartment after the reception and got to work spilling my stream of thought onto the page and by Monday morning was most of the way through my sermon. I did not finish it as expect on Monday, but did first thing Tuesday morning. I went from asermon I was not comfortable with to one that I had a connection to, and was very confident in. unfortunately, the original manuscript was close to a half hour long, and the congregation I am serving if used to 12-13 minute sermons so I needed to reduce it.

My part time internship has on several occasions spilled over into full time hours, this last week was not an exception. I spent about 20 total hours on my sermon at the beginning of the week, as well as about another 5 hours of meetings with other pastors in San Francisco and my supervisor and finishing the bulletin for my Sunday. This was followed by a busy later part of the week including the sermon reductions (my final product was still pretty long, about 22 minutes which I squeezed into 16 by talking fast [need to work on that part]), two wedding rehearsals, Saturday morning working the churches food pantry followed immediately by the elder deacon retreat, followed by two weddings, and then I finally got to go home after about a 14 hour day. During this time span on Saturday the little bit of congestion I had for the previous two weeks decided to turn into a full blown cold.

On Sunday I was happy to just get through my sermon. Monday morning, I was even worse, and my supervisor told me not to come in the rest of the week, so I went home and curled up in bed. At some point my door bell rang but I wasn't able to get to it before the person had left. Come to find out the next day I should have looked to the right at the chair I have outside because Jasmine had sent me a get well package of flowers and a teddy bear. Later that evening, a knock on my door, again I couldn't get there soon enough, but there was a package left on my door mat with "reasons I love you" stones inside as well as two whiskey snifters and some teraforma whiskey stones and a note congratulating me on my first sermon from "me." Gee, who could that be? Needless to say, these two things were wonderful and made a horrible day of feeling awful into a great day. I am starting to feel better bit by bit, missed my meeting this afternoon with a couple for premarital counseling (not MY meeting, but one I was going to shadow), and was told to not come to the wedding rehearsal tomorrow or wedding on Saturday.

I can't express how nice it is to have someone who will stand by my side when I am struggling with a sermon, or when I am sick, even when she is 1000 miles away. Im a pretty lucky guy.

Summer Love

This past summer, Ryan and I took several days to go camping down at the Great Sand Dunes National Park in Colorado.

I think we would both agree that the trip was packed with adventure, unexpected turns, lessons that could cycle back again, and more getting to know each other time. Even thinking about it now; it was an exhausting trip.

In bulleted form, here is a tiny bit of insight:

- Purchased jerky and began our travels
- Picked up two stranded older ladies and drove them to their home
- Received tickets to a nearby town's demolition derby as a token of their gratitude

The trip should have taken approximately 4 hours; we were still driving after the sun had been down for at least an hour.

- Pitched the tent to starlight
- Consumed astronaut-approved-hot-tang and oatmeal to start the day
- Climbed the dunes and almost blew
off the edge
- Feasted upon sand-covered oranges at the top of the sand pile
-Threw our orange peels into the magnificent gusts

      
Attended the derby
- Stalked by the formerly-stranded ladies
- Received turkey legs from the ladies
- Felt ill
- Invited to their home, we went...
- Talked about... their children, employment, life...
- Invited to spend the night, declined offer...
- Pending offer still stands to visit and attend the Gator Farm with their accompaniment
- Craved sleep; returned to the tent

We were thankful for the opportunities that would not have occurred if we had not met those kind individuals. Our ears were still ringing from the derby, our bodies we tired from the hot and dusty climb. It was good rest. This was quite a camping adventure.

Twenty Minutes Away

We were twenty minutes away when I visited the SF Bay Area for a conference in March 2011. We were also down around the Wharf at the same time. However, we didn't meet. Instead, we met two months later.

We emailed and chatted online for a week and a half. I had taken time of from work weeks prior but had yet to purchase plane tickets anywhere. After, slight hesitation we decided to see each other. I flew out for a less than 24 hour trip.  I believe I told only two individuals.

I had a layover in AZ. Tears welled as I realized that the door across the terminal, the door that led to my connecting flight, just shut as I ran up to it. (I had never missed a flight in all of my traveling before this point.)  I was upset. The attendant said it was too late. I missed the plane. I told ryan. He responded, something close to "It's ok. I will still be here when you get here. Remember, you love airports, have fun. Go people watching and get a hot drink." There were no guilt trips, but there was a message of confidence that spoke loudly to me. He knew snippets of me already. That was rad.

Ryan greeted me with wildflowers and a hug.
I was in SF overnight.
We both were wrapping up graduate school semester finals and were exhausted.
Ryan's planned trip to the museum turned into a solid nap.
Ryan's planned date night at the Fog City Dinner turned into a picnic in the hotel.  We still wore our fancy date attire.


The next day, Ryan took me to Stinson Beach, and yes, they're was a nap on the beach.
We had twist cones and decided it was fun and comfortable. Maybe we could talk on the phone now.

I feel asleep on the way to the airport. Which wasn't a surprise at this point!  ...I liked him.  I felt safe next to him...

--Ryan's funny insert. I had already left for the airport when Jasmine found out she was not going to be able to catch her connecting flight. when I received the message from her I pulled over to the side of the road to reassure her. I let her know that I was staring at San Quentin, and later she revealed that she wanted to see this overlook of the beautiful San Quentin. It was here that I had to inform her that I should have added the entire name when I told her that, as it was not some scenic overlook, I was on the shoulder of the road next to San Quentin State Prison.